That Man Deserves a Spot in Heaven

A male co-worker recently tried to get me to declare that all men are dogs. At the time, he was trying to engage in what he thought was some deep conversation. His intent was to get me to say that all men were dogs. He would then progress to the statement that all dogs go to heaven.

I declined to agree with his initial premise, which caused him quite a bit of frustration. Initially I said that my husband is a wonderful man. I definitely would not classify him as a dog, and he indeed is a man.

My co-worker then moved on to discuss the doginess of all other men. But I still could not agree with the statement. Men in general are not dogs.

What struck me most about this conversation was the fact that there is a sentiment among the population that men in general are dogs. I'm not even sure what that means. Yet this is a statement that typically would not be met with a lot of opposition. Why is that?

When I was a teenager, it's likely that I would have agreed that men are dogs. And I would venture to guess that the initial idea of men being dogs originated with women. But as I think about it, it seems to me that rather than men being dogs, women just cannot tolerate people who think and behave differently than them.

I thought about the kind of a woman that would vocalize this thought. "All men are dogs." This would come from a woman who'd been burned. A woman who perhaps had been cheated on. Or maybe a woman who yearned for a man who did not return the feelings. A woman who had expectations of romance, flowers, gifts, expensive dinners, and being showered with attention but did not receive all of those things. If a man does not live up to these expectations, does that make him a dog? Is a man a dog because he does not fall in love with every woman who develops a crush on him?

And what of the man who is promiscuous? Can you fault someone for their genetic engineering? Through urges brought on naturally by evolution, many, if not most men will try to copulate with as many women as they can. I would never try to justify the actions of a man who commits adultery. A vow is a vow, and as conscious beings, humans have the ability to over ride their carnal urges. But promiscuity in and of itself should not earn a man the title of "dog."

Men and women are different, physically, emotionally, biologically. But men are not inferior to women because of these differences any more than women are inferior because of their differences. It saddens me to think of this message being communicated to girls of all ages. Men are portrayed as being less than human. In fact, I remember thinking of boys and men as being an emotionless, sub-human species.

As an adult, as a married woman, as a mother, as someone no longer emotionally vulnerable to the disparities between the sexes, I see men in a different light than I did as a young girl. My husband is a great man, capable of enormous amounts of love and affection. He is hard-working and caring and funny and very much a human, not a dog. He can be hurt. He feels pride. He feels anger. He experiences betrayal, disappointment, and successes. But his reaction and expression of each of these things is very different from my own as a woman. Not better or worse, no less real, just different.

Holding a position now which puts me in close proximity to quite a few males on a fairly regular basis has also made me realize just how similar men and women really are. The boys I'm around have crushes, and they feel what girls feel when they have a crush. They flush when a pretty girl is around. They get excited to receive texts from that special girl. They talk about a recent date that went well and laugh with each other. They encourage their friends to make the next move. Yes, they want to have sex. But they also want companionship.

Did men earn this title of "dog" because of sex? Is that were it came from? The so-called "hit it and quit it" mentality?

Can we be honest about that? There are men who use women for sex. There are women who use men for sex. It is unfortunate when a woman is taken advantage of, is intimate with a man, and then finds that he has no interest in seeing her again. But isn't it pretty easy to spot that guy? Isn't it fairly easy to avoid him? I'm just gonna come out and say it: Ladies, if you are worried about being used for sex, stop sleeping with guys the first night you meet them.

Men are not dogs. Some men may act like dogs. But women seem to be allowing it to happen. Maybe it is women who need some behavior modification. I can assure you that the men in my life definitely deserve a spot in heaven, even if they aren't dogs.